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liljim

Age/Gender: 30, Male
Location: England

Zoink....

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Entry #4

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liljim

Big Kids

Posted by liljim Feb. 8, 2008 @ 7:50 PM EST

I've been dwelling on the fact that I've been getting old lately. It's not enough that I realise this for myself, some people even feel the need to point it out to me (WolfBlitz2's comment).

I read a lot of threads in the forums, many of which no longer make sense (from my current perspective - they might have done at one point in time) to me. Some of the posts in these threads I read are on completely unrelated matters to thread subject, but they all relate to the same kind of thing; "My parents don't understand me", "I'm being controlled by my parents", blah de blah.

When I check out the profiles of the people posting these comments, they're all between 13 - 18 years of age. And believe me, I felt the same sort of thing when I was in that age range... However, if you're in that situation and unless you're getting some sort of physical/mental abuse, getting lectures off your parents, or feeling that you're being controlled by them, is completely natural.

It takes becoming an adult (yeah, I know - long time to wait for those of you still in that age bracket, but it'll come around sooner than you think) to realise that your parents are just bigger versions of you. They're just big kids, who went through similar situations to you young ones, way back when. Circumstances might have changed a little - you got busted for something you might have been looking at on the internet or on your computer, they got busted for something they managed to get on video or in print.

All of this is very difficult to accept from a teenager's point of view, given that it's stereotypically uncool to agree with anything anyone over the age of 20 says or writes, so I'm probably wasting my time in writing all of this and am probably just wasting space here....

But, to give those young guys an idea of where I'm coming from, many of my friends have started families recently. My best friend, who I was Best Man for back in September 2006, had his first son last June. My friend and his wife are still the same people they were before, and I've known both of them since I was in my teens.

All I'm trying to say if you're young, like it or not, believe it or not, is that we're all big kids at heart and all have similar goals in mind. Even (and in particular) the people who bring you up.

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The People Have Spoken

46 Comments

Feb. 8, 2008 | 8:29 PM Spoopy says:

thats great jimmy boy!


Feb. 8, 2008 | 8:33 PM DrBeach says:

very nicely told.....yer


Feb. 8, 2008 | 8:42 PM SBB says:

I felt like a kindergarten kid after reading that.

Well told thoe


Feb. 8, 2008 | 9:02 PM karlu20 says:

excluding my parents who are abusive and a few of my friends parents who are also abusive i agree with that (even if i AM 16)
and youre not old
i know someone whos 42 and i wouldnt call them old
youre only old if you act it
damn i forgot what else i was gonna say... whatever guess i wont worry about it


Feb. 8, 2008 | 9:38 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

Muwahahaha.... everything is coming to plan...
I believe only ONE person pointed out your age... MEEEEEE!!!!
I like pointing out the obvious ^.^
yeah i believe in the kid at heart thing
like my history teacher he's about 50-ish and still acts like if he is in the 1960's
No hippy kombi though :(


Feb. 8, 2008 | 10:39 PM FrozenFire says:

Nicely put. I enjoyed reading this.

Also you shouldn't give jerks more attention than they deserve, (Wolfblitz)

Then he thinks he is cool. ^^^^^^


Feb. 8, 2008 | 10:51 PM PinballWizard976 says:

Your kinda sounding like a psychiatrist right now. No offense or anything.


Feb. 8, 2008 | 11:30 PM 1337leader says:

I perfectly understand where your coming from but I don't like my parents because they constantly badger me during my work and don't let me get any sleep.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 1:29 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

did my comment make you feel any older or more decrepit? XD


Feb. 9, 2008 | 1:32 AM kibas-cool says:

it's stereotypically uncool to agree with anything anyone over the age of 20 says or writes

yeah... but it happens anyway though not many people admit it


Feb. 9, 2008 | 3:23 AM bob says:

I don't think a lot of people around here realize most of us admins are 29 or 30...

Feb. 10, 2008 | 6:30 PM liljim responds:

I can't really blame them. At times, I forget just how old I am. If I'm asked on the spot, I have to think before giving out my age, whereas in the past, it'd just roll right out without any thought. I guess the older you get, the less you care about remembering exactly what age you are.

I remember knowing exactly how old I was up until I was around 22 or 23, without having to pause and think about it... I was always asked at nightclub doors how old I was (if you're convincing enough in the UK, the bouncers tend to let you in with or without ID - from my experiences of going out in the US, they just ID everyone, to cover themselves.... and there's also the age difference in drinking age in the UK and most states in the US to keep in mind. It's just 18 here, but I would imagine it's more difficult to differentiate between those who're 15 and can pass for 18, and those who're in the 18-21 age bracket, so it makes sense to me that everyone is ID'd in most US states and clubs there).

I always looked younger than I was (until now, I'm getting bald, haha), so I was always prepared to roll out my date of birth and age when asked. Now, I "um and ah" whenever asked, before thinking, "Crap, I'm old" and then giving my age.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 5:51 AM WritersBlock says:

I fit in your 13-18 year age bracket, and I agree with you. I guess that makes me uncool, eh? But, being at the end of that age (17), I've got a lot of growing up to do. I've got my driver's license, I've finished school, next year I'll be at uni and living without my parents. I guess I'm in that transition phase, and there's more good things about becoming an adult than there is for staying a kid. I like independence and I like making my own choices. I think it's pretty cool that you've got your own life, no "can I get a lift here" or "can I borrow some money" there. Adults are pretty cool. Especially the ones that play videogames and watch cartoons and still act young.

There is a lot of truth in your news post. You're definitely a wise old man. =P

Respect.

Feb. 10, 2008 | 6:51 PM liljim responds:

Hehe, I wouldn't say it made you uncool - what I was getting at is that is that it's cool amongst teenagers (or at least, it was when I was younger and from reading stuff in the forums here and elsewhere, it seems to be an ongoing trend) is that it's uncool to be anything less than a sheep and disagreeing with the norm of teen conversation, and even worse if you listen to someone over the age of 20 or whatever.

University will definitely give you a lot more choices than you have now, that you will have to make on your own, which is an excellent learning point in life.

I'm not sure how things work in Australia, but over here in the UK, those who have parents earning below average wages (combined) are entitled to a small grant (it used to cover the whole of the course) to help contribute to tuition fees. If your parents earn more than the combined average (or, I should say, determined wage at which people are entitled to benefits), then they have to pay for your education.

From my understanding of things, you have to pay for your own scholarships (and get a loan to do that, or get your parents to pay for it) in the US. Like I said, no idea how it all works in Australia.

But... remember that you will still be depending on your parents, whether be financially or morally, or whatever, even when you go to University, even if you're making choices on different matters. And your parents more than likely went through exactly the same things at some point.

If you enjoy University even an eighth as much as I did, you're going to have an amazing time there.

Couple of words of advice, if you'll take them; if the course you choose doesn't suit you and you don't take to it, change courses. Better to find a course you enjoy than spend a year doing something you don't enjoy and have to start over again.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 6:55 AM TripleDK says:

OMG you're saying April is pregnant!?!?!?!?


Feb. 9, 2008 | 8:43 AM Sonni says:

After reading that you make me feel so old. Of course, this is part of life and something that everyone experiences. As you get older you need to take more responsibility because of lots of stuffs being pushed to you but you can't just run away and hide behind your parents back or anything (unless your parents are rich or you plan to live under the basement your whole life!) . You'll just have to confront with it, deal with it somehow whether you like it or not. That's the difference between being an adult and a kid in my idea at least. But otherwise, I supposed adults are just like big kids after all.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 12:19 PM RageVI says:

You're still lamenting (to a degree) about this 'old' thing? You're still a young man. Carpe diem, buddy. You might feel funny about this after 30 more years.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 12:19 PM steph2568 says:

it's true what u say.
you could be like 45, but inside you're still a big kid at heart.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 2:52 PM CaptainBob says:

It is amazing how quickly and just how much your perspective on life changes as you pass the teenage years. All the drama of that time period just seems silly.


Feb. 9, 2008 | 4:44 PM Aeonstars says:

I completely agree. We're all just kids. I might only be 18 right now but I still feel like I'm 13. I wonder how many real adults there actually are in the world excluding the big kids who think they have to act mature. 30 isn't old at all. I know you understand that but it's really really young.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 3:03 PM ShortStackSutin says:

April is smart enough not to get pregnant while Tom is pregnant with a child called "Castle Crashers". The poor child would have a horrible sibling complex.
I'm 20 and I haven't the faintest comprehension of what's going on in the forums.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 4:50 PM Scarab says:

A good message there, and personally, I wouldn't have minded being told that a few years ago. I like to think I have changed, that moving with or against certain people is a big waste of time. I'm not sure about the extent that's true though really.

Actually, if anything, I've been feeling much older than I am recently, which is 17 (18 in April). I seem to be dwelling on things from the past, which is odd, as I spent 1996 to 2000 on a "rich man's council estate". Okay, it wasn't that bad, but you probably get my point. Maybe it's just my tendency to listen to Nightshift by the Commodores in the dark that's bringing me down.

Oh, to what Bob said, I can confirm that. My brother thought Tom Fulp was a 18 year old living in his Mum's basement.

Feb. 10, 2008 | 6:55 PM liljim responds:

If you continue feeling down about and dwelling upon things in the past, consider going to your GP. Dwelling on events in the past and feeling down go hand in hand with depression and it's better to nip that sort of thing in the bud, rather than let it all heap up.

Updated: Feb. 10, 2008, 6:56 PM

Feb. 10, 2008 | 8:43 PM mongoid says:

I've actually come to the same conclusion, only in my case I'm going back to college in my late twenties. The thing that kills me is just how unmotivated most of the 18-21 year olds are at school. It's almost like they walk around with a sense of entitlement, always ready to ask for an answer to a problem but never willing to give one. Granted, the Irvine community is a upper middle class, so I'm positive that these little shits have been waited on for most of their lives.


Feb. 10, 2008 | 9:06 PM Eli216AkAMcdoAddict says:

Believe it or not, I had that same feeling of getting old and feeling old when I was only 16, just two years ago...I hate it when people say that life sucks for them...poor you then...


Feb. 10, 2008 | 9:56 PM chris-the-stick2 says:

graet speech. but not saying the ''speach'' when its a silly thing way, or crap, i mean the ''good wise thing'' speach speach. so, i hope you get me. it still has to be shown something. age doesnt matters. sure, ou may see something differently when you are older than 20, or have your own family and have to be responcible, or raise you children, but what i want to tell, is that if a guy at the age of 14, is an ass**le, then he will remain an ass**l at his 30 too. so, yea, people fdont change, but they sure see a different perspective in other age, (like 30) yea. i hope there are people who are still kids at their hearts, by playing games, or watching tv, or ONLY by living every day. yea


Feb. 11, 2008 | 12:57 AM PiGPEN says:

Adults need to grow the fuck up.


Feb. 11, 2008 | 1:27 AM JohnnyUtah says:

I WILL NEVER BE OLD

(it does kinda bother me all my friends are getting married and having..kids. yech)


Feb. 11, 2008 | 9:27 AM Cyberdevil says:

It seems we all are . . . I know I still havn't changed much at all in the last five years. I sure hope I'll have no problems posting at the forums at double my lifetime . . .


Feb. 11, 2008 | 8:13 PM Swordstick76 says:

humm. Just got one thing to say. it's not stereotypically uncool to agree with anybody 20 years or older, it's uncool to agree with somebody 30 years or older. I love my bro, and he's like 32, 29, somewhere around there. He's really cool. So it's not like that. you just can't agree with somebody who is a parent. that ain't cool.
Just wanted to point that out.


Feb. 11, 2008 | 10:44 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

one of the blokes i know of thinks i might have made a grown man (you) cry
so if i have made you upset my apologies
still friends with the Australians? :)


Feb. 12, 2008 | 7:18 PM Dasneviano says:

I couldn't agree more!
Even though it's still odd to see 40 years old people playing video games, for example, it's probably what I'll be doing in 20 years, if I ever get to live till there.


Feb. 13, 2008 | 9:49 PM Pointy-Circle says:

Really? When I look at the BBS, I see Dick Jokes and shitty photoshop threads.


Feb. 15, 2008 | 6:52 PM voidshatter says:

very inspirational


Feb. 16, 2008 | 6:57 PM solardave says:

i feel for you. maybe cos im english and it's just an unnatural bond we have. do you want a hug. i'm here for you any time. :D


Feb. 17, 2008 | 11:11 PM Vousielle says:

Isn't the whole point of parents, that they control you?!


Feb. 20, 2008 | 12:24 PM bicostp says:

"it takes becoming an adult (yeah, I know - long time to wait for those of you still in that age bracket, but it'll come around sooner than you think)"

Absolutely.

I'm only 21 but I feel about the same. (No will to argue on the internet, think idiots are a waste of time instead of fodder, threads don't make sense anymore, chalking up "nobody understands me" to immaturity and angst, etc.) So if anything it's kicking in later for you, lucky S.O.B.


Feb. 20, 2008 | 6:09 PM HippieSlayer23 says:

thank you for being one of the few people who agree with me on that matter!


Feb. 22, 2008 | 11:46 AM DrJam says:

I saw you in the street the other day


Feb. 27, 2008 | 1:57 AM Nomader says:

I fit in towards the end of your stereotypical Newgrounder -- I'm a seventeen year old (fitting nicely into the 13-18 bracket). But as I've grown older, I've slowly come to discover just as you put it, parents are just "big kids" (it might not be the words I'd normally use, but it does the trick).

The other day, I was in a conversation with some guy who was probably around 35 -- I ended up just talking to him for a couple hours about anything ranging from Shakespeare, movies, and even the colleges I was thinking of attending. I sort of came to a realization afterwards, that it wouldn't be long before I'd be the same age.

I suppose I've never really fit in with the others from my age group about "parent hating" and all that -- I usually find it rather funny, when someone says, "I hate my parents!" on Newgrounds, but fails to remember that it was their parents that bought them the beautiful computer that they're using to gain access to the site.

I'm really not sure what the point of this whole comment I've made was -- I think it's knowing that my 30s, nearly twenty years away now, will be on me before I know it -- but I think I've figured that I'm just fine with that. Or maybe it was that I've never really thought of older people as particularly weird or un-cool. I guess you can sort of decide what it is that I've said. :P

Cheers.


Mar. 5, 2008 | 2:29 PM Evark says:

Ever since I was little I was fascinated by the concept that every single other person on this earth is a thinking and feeling being the same as I. I used to wonder what, in particular, was special about my body and mind that I was conscious within it. It felt rather arbitrary to me that I should be conscious at this particular time in this particular place in this particular body.

So I decided that I would never make the mistake of failing to respect another simple for being another. Interestingly enough, I hated my parents for a large amount of my teenage years. I'm not as removed from that frame of my life as you are, but I'm getting there and it feels like the process is moving faster and faster every day. It took basically a semester's absence from interaction with my family for me to drop all the petty bullshit I used to hold against them. I guess it takes a little bit of decision-making without parental input for someone to realize they're doing things the same way their parents would anyway. After a while things kinda just click.

I think everyone reaches that point sooner or later when the expression "you'll thank me when you're older" starts to make sense.


Mar. 6, 2008 | 3:17 PM satanbrain says:

go back to russia!


Mar. 6, 2008 | 10:52 PM THEJamoke says:

This blog post should be a required read alongside the NG FAQ before creating an account.

It's not so much that teens are unwilling to listen to anthing any person over 20 tells them, I feel that they have difficulty in general accepting advice from anyone, regardless of age. However, they do forget, more often than not, that us "older" individuals have already been where they are going and could offer very valuable insight.


Mar. 8, 2008 | 11:41 PM SardonicSamurai says:

You are only as old as you think you are.

It is around the time people think they're getting old when they start to feel the effects most. Now don't get me wrong; saying you're 18 won't make an 80 year old feel like one, but thinking you're old doesn't help.

I'm 20 years old, but hell, I still watch cartoons, anime, play games, etc. I plan on being like this for as long as possible. I refuse to grow up.

Fuck this place, I'm going to Neverland.


Mar. 9, 2008 | 10:51 PM kdfsjljklgjfg says:

Yeah, everybody keeps at least a bit of being a kid in them, and life is the same foundation with a different coat of paint until you're retired. Liberation of finishing up high school, then there's college, and joining the workforce.

Then there's always the things you take for granted as a kid you wish so bad you could go back and change. For me, it's learning how to ice skate so I could be a hockey player.

Oh well though, no dwelling in the past.

Also, haven't seen you on xbox live in a while, what's going on with that?

Mar. 10, 2008 | 2:56 PM liljim responds:

My 360 got the red rings and I haven't gotten around to sending it back yet.


Mar. 11, 2008 | 10:54 PM Ansel says:

I'm part of that 13-18 bracket and want to say I disagree just as much with kids who claim they're being oppressed or controlled. They're given plenty of freedom, and often just aren't grateful for it.


Mar. 13, 2008 | 6:19 PM Seamonky says:

I miss you. :'(


Mar. 15, 2008 | 12:56 PM SevenSeize says:

30 isn't old.

90 is old.

Until you hit 90, don't worry about it.


Mar. 19, 2008 | 9:25 PM Dead-Body-Man says:

That's why parents always say "Be a kid as long as you can."

Everyone is gonig to get old man. It's not liker people are gonig to sit there in a chair and be the same age.

Besides, I've been picked to go to war.

It happens.

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