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I know that these creatures are miracles of evolution, stemming back millions of years (or a few months, if you happen to be stupid enough to be a Creationist.). What are these creatures good for, other than:

a) making other little slugs and snails with each other
b) eating all your plants
c) i: if you're from France and it's a snail, eating it, or ii: just... getting in your way.

In all the millions of years of evolution (or two months, if you're stupid enough to be a Creationist [before anyone pipes up, I know the true length of time that Creationists think upon]), why have these creatures not learned to get out of the way?

In the picture below is a partially squashed snail...

Now... I smoke (I know, a very bad thing), but I go outside to do it.

I don't weigh much and when I step outside for a smoke in the pitch black, I tread carefully when it's raining, because I know that there's going to be a few of these creatures about.

However, if these creatures, who have been around longer than man, had any sense, they'd have been prepared for me. Or at least grown tough enough shells to withstand my weight, or just stayed away.

Between taking the first picture and writing this up, I went outside again and destroyed another snail accidentally. Surely, they're their own worst enemy.

Updated: 07/31/08 9:05 PM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

49 Comments

Jul. 31, 2008 | 10:01 PM Wurmy says:

Well, since they can live just about anywhere that there are plants, they probably survive that way. And by numbers. And I guess they are also entertaining when you pour salt on them :)

Jul. 31, 2008 | 10:09 PM kornrox says:

Now that has gotta hurt!

Jul. 31, 2008 | 10:14 PM MrSoup says:

thats gotta hurt

Jul. 31, 2008 | 10:20 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

get a blue tongue lizard
they wil get rid of your problem

Jul. 31, 2008 | 10:33 PM Wiiporter says:

nasty.

Jul. 31, 2008 | 11:14 PM Ansel says:

i have not seen a snail near my house in years :/

Jul. 31, 2008 | 11:59 PM Lalo says:

wow, is all that glare real or was it photoshopped? poor thing :P i wonder what their purpose in the world is...

Aug. 3, 2008 | 2:04 PM liljim responds:

It was dark outside and raining. The glare is a result of the rain and slime from the snail reflecting the flash I used. No photoshop involved.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 12:39 AM Luis says:

snails are quite tasty if cooked correctly.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 2:06 PM liljim responds:

Perhaps, but I don't like the thought of tucking into that bad boy, cooked or not.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 3:16 AM SamIam says:

Salt and Snails go well together!

Aug. 1, 2008 | 6:40 AM kylezert says:

very painful :(

Aug. 1, 2008 | 6:57 AM doberman7 says:

There are more usages to snails :P

But maybe in a sense, they are their own accidents because they cant seem to protect themselves in a way either.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 9:08 AM RockinPunk says:

There's a road near where I live, and whenever it rains, the road literally get covered with hundreds of snails and they just get killed. You go past the next day and you can just see hundreds of dead snails.

It's odd.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 10:53 AM Atgod88 says:

I got a joke about evolution.

Why don't Catholics play Pokemon?

Because Pokemon evolve :D

Aug. 1, 2008 | 11:19 AM Cheddar79 says:

I sense a snail uprising.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 12:32 PM MonstahkiD says:

that's incredibly sickening

Aug. 1, 2008 | 1:36 PM SkeletonKing says:

I am anxiously awaiting the disgruntled rant of some enraged creationist.

"Creationism is the only possible answer despite a single shred of evidence suggesting so! You and your millions of facts conclusively proving evolution can go to hell!"

Aug. 19, 2008 | 9:11 PM liljim responds:

Hehe.

I have a friend, who lives in Japan now (and has done for the past 6 years or so). His parents own a cottage on the shore on the East Coast of England, that's renowned for being a hotspot for fossils.

Whenever he comes back to visit, he, I, and a bunch of others, go up to the cottage to stay for a day or two, because it's pretty tranquil up there.

His Dad was an English teacher and then progressed to school inspections.

Anyway, the cottage next door to it was bought by a family of Creationists. His Dad had been there one day, gone to the beach, found a bunch of fossils back and was looking at them in front of the two cottages, which are adjacent.

The annoying kid, belonging to the couple next door, asked them what he was looking at. He explained that they were fossils and were at least a couple of million years old.

The kid's parent overheard, and stepped in. "They're not more than 6,000 years old."

What an idiot.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 1:46 PM BlueHippo says:

I see you've been improving upon your photography. Nice picture... poor lil fella. Crazy to think that only half a year ago these creatures first roamed our earth, how short their existence has come on this planet.

Did you at least offer him a cigarette before annihilation?

Aug. 1, 2008 | 4:54 PM Foric says:

ewwww nasty pic

Aug. 1, 2008 | 5:44 PM mranarchy says:

They survive so well because they have dozens of offspring at a time.

Also that snail is really quite vaginal

Aug. 1, 2008 | 7:42 PM IMASCOT says:

I did not know you had such a strong view on the way slugs and Snails live.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 8:01 PM BlueFlameSkulls says:

I have been having the exact same problem for the past couple of days. It's almost uncanny.

I'm a smoker too. I go out for a cigarette for obvious reasons. Now I go to bed late at around 4am. I go for a smoke when it's pitch black. I happened to step on a big ugly slug, exactly outside the front door. As if it was planning to commit suicide. I had no idea what it was, it was like a small balloon filled with water that would refuse to burst.

My first thought it was cat crap but when I come back inside I saw the remains of a slug from the light of the doorway. This was only a few days ago and I still cannot clean the mucous from the sole of my shoes. It's the sticky stuff rather than the watery mucous.

Next day, stepped on a new slug.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 2:09 PM liljim responds:

Yeah... This one place I lived in was even worse than where it is now. You couldn't walk anywhere outside when it'd been raining at night, without stepping on one or the other. Disgusting things.

Aug. 1, 2008 | 8:22 PM HolyPeanuts says:

How big are they around your area? The biggest one I have ever seen here in Kansas, was half the size of my thumbnail...

That one looks pretty big.....kinda.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 2:05 PM liljim responds:

The shells tend to get to about the size of a golf ball... If they live that long, at least.

Aug. 2, 2008 | 10:13 AM falarinx says:

When I was younger I smashed snails with two bricks then sprinkled salt on their remains. It was a rather macabre practice back then, but it provided me with entertainment.

Where I live now I don't think I have seen a snail or a slug for quite some time.

Aug. 2, 2008 | 10:41 AM Hyrus says:

Quantity over quality.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 12:20 AM Ukinojoe says:

Oh no, poor snail! :-0

You can't blame the little guys, they ain't got no brain. They just have a ganglia.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 9:58 AM Earthshine says:

hi liljim

Aug. 3, 2008 | 6:44 PM Chdonga says:

Do you know why they fizzle up when salted?I sure as heck don't.

Aug. 3, 2008 | 10:55 PM speeling says:

it looks like 2 snails doin it!

Aug. 4, 2008 | 4:53 PM TomFulp says:

I agree with Luis - snails exist because they are delicious with lots of butter.

Aug. 5, 2008 | 11:39 PM liljim responds:

Maybe in gourmet restaurants, but come on.... Take a look at that thing. There's no way that most people on this planet would ever consider eating it.

Having said that, I forgot that you'd gone to the South of France for a while... Lyon? Somewhere close to that, I think. And yeah, when they're prepared right... Yum yum.

Aug. 4, 2008 | 10:00 PM loogiesquared says:

YOU KILLED IT <='(

Aug. 5, 2008 | 11:40 PM liljim responds:

Manslaughter. I didn't mean to kill it. And... Why the hell are we even debating what I did? I mean, it's a SNAIL.

Aug. 5, 2008 | 4:29 PM C1ph3r says:

Where can you find one of these?

Aug. 5, 2008 | 11:42 PM liljim responds:

Most gardens in the UK, after it's rained. Your profile doesn't say where you're from, so it's difficult to estimate how far you'd have to travel to see one of these things in the flesh, so to speak.

Aug. 6, 2008 | 12:42 PM JT1 says:

Atgod88: The official stance of the Catholic Hurch is that evolution is real, and that God directed evolution in order to create man. It is called intelligent design.

There is a myth that Christianity is at odds with science. It is not. Modern science began as a quest by Christians to better know God by better understanding His creation. Issac Newton wrote more about religion than about science. Galileo's daughter was a nun. I am not saying that Christianity is responsible for science, or that there is no place for non-Christians is science. I am simply saying that Christians are not the backward savages making human sacrifices to idols that atheists we are.

Aug. 7, 2008 | 7:45 PM lilcheeselad says:

Looks like a penis.

Aug. 7, 2008 | 8:07 PM Keith says:

dont evolve cause dont last long enough to evolve :)

Aug. 9, 2008 | 3:59 PM 455H0L3 says:

>:( U KILLED IT
U COULD EAT IT DUH!!!

Aug. 10, 2008 | 1:04 AM mongoid says:

My wife passionately hates the little buggers. We're talking full upright seizure when she sees one. I personally don't have a problem with them. They're actually quite fascinating.

If anything, they were put on this Earth to torment those who can't handle a little mucus under their shoe.

:-P

Aug. 19, 2008 | 9:00 PM liljim responds:

In a place I used to live, they managed to work their way into the house. They'd be crawling (or whatever way you want to call them moving) around the kitchen. I even found one half way up my bedroom window - the inside of it.

Fascinating at distance, maybe, but not when they invade your living space.

Having said that, my bedroom was above a damp cellar, so it was a perfect breeding ground for spiders and a hotspot for those little bastards.

Aug. 11, 2008 | 10:54 PM Evark says:

I've got a similar problem with frogs. Out here in my neck of the newer England, we've got bogs all around here. I have to drive down a road that cuts right through the middle of one, so driving home late at night in mid-late August is life-ending for dozens of the things. Can't even swerve to avoid them or anything, they're too small to notice until you're upon them.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 9:12 PM liljim responds:

Am I the only one who finds it amusing, that the majority of things that get squashed or squished are high up on the list of French delicacies?

Aug. 13, 2008 | 1:24 PM WadeFulp says:

OH SNAP!

Aug. 19, 2008 | 9:01 PM liljim responds:

Why I oughta.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 6:36 PM NEVR says:

Heh, I was walking back from the pub the other night with a friend, and it had been lightly raining throughout the evening, so the pavement was reasonably wet by the time we left. On the walk home, we both literally had to sidestep a big old slug every few paces. They were EVERYWHERE.

I'd like to believe that they're just adrenaline junkies -- they love the risk factor.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 8:57 PM liljim responds:

Either that, or they're just stupid creatures. I err in favour of the latter.

You know, now that I think about it, I was reading about the decline of the hedgehog in the UK not so long ago. Granted, some of that is due to the fact that people inadvertently drive over them as they cross the road, but one of the major parts of their diets are slugs and snails.

There aren't many animals or creatures that struggle when there is an abundance of food. These guys obviously aren't looking in the right places for their grub.... although I will give it to them that their habitat (overgrown hedgerows and the like) have been cut back substantially over the years, so I won't hold it against them.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 9:29 PM Iamjohn says:

Actually, i'm confused, I haven't seen a slug or snail in bloody ages, and it has been raining loads in the UK..

Aug. 20, 2008 | 1:03 AM liljim responds:

......... I live in the UK, too. Maybe they're all hiding from you. Or something. There are plenty around this neck of the woods.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 10:25 PM X-TERRORIST-X says:

You a scrawny little fellow aren't you? In your profile pic. you look like you weight like 90 pounds.

Aug. 20, 2008 | 1:04 AM liljim responds:

I probably weigh less than that... So yes, I'm a scrawny little guy.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 10:31 PM NEVR says:

LOL, well yeah, the brainpower issue is probably a substantial part of it, too ;P

I see a lot of dead hedgehogs at the side of the road these days, when walking my dog mostly. It's kinda sad when you see things like that, because again it's about the brainpower issue. If a species just naturally doesn't have the brainpower to avoid putting themselves in dangerous scenarios, then you can't really hold it against them when they get run over, stepped on, etc.

I remember when I smoked though, I did step on quite a few snails initially when venturing out in the dark for a cigarette.

BTW, James, are you planning on making an appearance at the London meet this year? I'm 50/50 on getting up there this year, so I guess it's not a huge deal for me if you can't. 2009 though I'll be living in London, so I'll definitely be there then, and it would be great to meet you -- the ONLY English NG staff member ;P

Aug. 20, 2008 | 1:09 AM liljim responds:

UP to London? Where do you live? Cornwall, or some place like that?

Dunno, I'm in mixed minds as to whether or not to turn up there. One thing's for sure... I won't be getting the train, if I do turn up.

The last time I got a train from Edinburgh through to where I live... took around 9 hours or so, when it should have been just 2 hours. Bloody Railtrack.

Aug. 19, 2008 | 11:00 PM cast says:

You've inspired a future blog post, somewhat related to Tom's wombats.

Aug. 20, 2008 | 12:44 PM NEVR says:

I live literally south of London -- West Sussex. It's about a 2 - 2.5 hour trip for me to get there from where I live, hence why I'm not really sure about getting there this year. It's not a massive trip in comparison to some, but the logistics of getting there and back are complicated by the pub aspect... don't really want to be catching a train home late at night, especially considering the inefficiency of the railway system these days (as you mentioned).

We'll see what happens I suppose.

Aug. 20, 2008 | 4:56 PM DrugMan3 says:

Eating a slug gives you meningitis.

Aug. 21, 2008 | 3:58 PM jtm17 says:

I Meant To ask you this a while ago so sorry for being so old...
Was that really you on the stickcam? at Comic-con?
I think there was a few hackers lol some of the artists seemed a bit....off sounding
otherwise the artists of NG are very weird and i sholud never talk to them again.

anyway realating to the post.

a few weeks ago when it seemed to rain all day in england (THAT WEEK where it was forcasted to be sunny and i mean it rained like the heavens had opened) i just tried on my new pair of trainers so i decided to go out, now where i live there is a long stone path down to my house and plenty of bushes around me

I KILLED 6 OF THOSE BUGGERS AROUND 3 SMALL ONES IN ONE STEP.

these new shoes have mucus which is rather hard to get of...and it even smells!

I Cant Compain about the wether but...its like they want a death wish, are they so depressed because they move so fucking slow?!

Herts Seems to have the most rain. Or its just me....

Aug. 21, 2008 | 6:54 PM liljim responds:

Not sure who it was you saw on stickcam, but I wasn't at Comic-Con.

Aug. 22, 2008 | 5:31 PM roryblakemore says:

ha! thats well rankkk laaad!

yeah! i remember at night seeing all these snails and slugs on my house wall! looked cool!

but snails are bothering me at the moment!

MOTHS!!!! eh,? there are annoying! whenever i leave my window open! BOOM! moth city! the big ones make alot of noise! ;S

and i remember seeing snaiils have sechs! bubbleh! i think i squished em! hehe